Stefan D D من عند Kozalj Vrh, كرواتيا
Great book. Fun, thoughtful, creative and a fast read. I recommend to everyone (over 18).
As a work of literature, this isn't exactly a masterpiece. A good editor could have found a much better way to differentiate between the two first-person voices behind the story. As it was, every few paragraphs the voice would switch between Michelle and Jim-Bob, with an "I (Jim Bob)" or an "I (Michelle)." I found it really distracting and somewhat annoying by the end. Couldn't they have used different shading or put in some headings to transition between them? However, as a book that shares how one family manages 18 children, with God's help, it's very interesting. I like this family, I really do. I'm glad I like this family, because if I hadn't known them a bit before reading this book, I might have really taken issue with some of the things in the book. For example, soon after he meets Michelle, Jim Bob writes that he prays, "I ask that Michelle could be mine and that I could be her spiritual leader." Frankly, I find that statement downright scary, but because I've seen how Michelle and her husband interact, it does seem that they are more equal partners than that statement would lead one to believe. Here's a few other thoughts I had as I read the book: * I'd heard criticisms in the past of this family's use of "blanket training" on their babies. From the description, I was leery of the idea. However, while I don't think I'll be adopting the practice anytime soon, the "blanket time" where they reward a toddler for sitting quietly on a blanket for reasonable amounts of time sounds like it would really be helpful to a homeschooling family. * I really admire this family for living by their convictions, though I do find some of their beliefs a bit odd. For example, though they claim to be New Testament Christians, they also adhere to some Old Testament practices, such as times prescribed not to have intercourse and circumcision on the 8th day. * The kids are very isolated and while I admire the way they are taught to live Christ-like attributes, it seems that their only practice of their religion is in their home with their siblings because that's where they are all the time. I have nothing against homeschooling and would do it myself under certain circumstances, but I also believe that interacting with the wider world is good for kids. I think it's good for siblings to be "best friends" but not good for them to be their only friends. The Duggars have a home church where fifty or so people gather every week at their home to worship (that's what? Their family plus two or three others their size?) and interact with other families a few times a year at homeschooling conferences. Other than that, it seems that the 20 people who live in their home are their whole world. * Some of their organization tips seem to make more work. For example, they have a family closet room where all the clothes are stored, rather than bringing clothes to the individual rooms. Every day, the children gather up what they want to wear the next day and carry it to their room. So they've traded bringing clothes to their rooms a few tiems a week for doing it daily. That doesn't seem easier to me. * I didn't realize before I read this book that some people actually make a practice of using paper plates on a daily basis. I know dishes can be a pain, but I just think that with that many kids, they have enough hands on board to help out. Paper plates just seem wasteful to me. * Supposedly, their budget for groceries and household items every month is $3000. Interesting fact. Our family is half their size, at 9 people versus the 20 that live in their home, but our kids are young so I have no idea yet how expensive it will be later on. * There were a couple of tips that I really would like to incorporate. For one, they have a set of lockers in their playroom, one for every child. The older kids are allowed to keep their treasures in it, locked away from the younger kids. I also like the way they moniter their internet use. They have a block on all but seventy sites. Those sites can be accessed at any time by anyone. If someone wants to search a site not on the approved list, they have a password kept by mom and one of the older girls. They are allowed to access it, but someone else needs to be nearby while they're on the internet. * I know they get a lot of criticism for their buddy system. I don't think it would work in our family, but I can see how it does in theirs. I think it's good for kids to learn to help one another. That can be taken to an extreme, but I don't think it is in their family. * I really admire their conviction to stay out of debt, though I think they take it to an extreme. For example, they are very proud of the seven years they rented a tiny house while they saved up enough to pay cash for their next (also very small) home. It seems to me that whether you're paying a mortgage or rent, you owe someone for putting a roof over your head. Seven years can sure build up a lot of equity. I liked all the examples they used of ways they'd been blessed to stay out of debt. * While they claim that "if one of our children is called to a specialized field, such as medicine, we will help him or her prepare for it," it does seem that their children's future careers are limited. Neither Jim Bob nor Michelle has a college education and their children are not encouraged to prepare for college. I agree with the idea that God has a plan for our lives, but I also think that part of His plan is for us to make our own choices and pursue the best paths we can find for ourselves. I do think that sometimes God wants us to pursue a specific career path, but more often, He lets us choose. By not setting higher education as a priority, they limit what their children can do with their lives. To put it another way, if a child grows up never playing the violin, and then at age 18 decides he wants to be a master violinist, he no longer has that option because of choices made earlier. * That said, it does seem that their homeschool curriculum is abundant. The sheer number of resources they use impresses me, though I know very little about the particular curriculum they use. * I think it's sad that their family divides jobs by gender. They don't say it, but it is everywhere implied that it is the girls who cook and sew and the boys who do the mechanical stuff. I think boys are just as capable in the kitchen and should be taught as well as the girls. * I'm impressed with the gratitude they express for everyone who they feel has helped them, from a family friend who comes over to help with laundry, to the Learning Channel who surprised them with a grand piano. Unlike a certain other reality show family, they never seem greedy, ungrateful, or demanding. So refreshing. * I have always admired Michelle's patience and would love to be more like her in that way -- for example, look how soft-spoken she is in this video on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPE0WG... . So I really enjoyed reading about their family rules which are as follows: 1. Always use soft words, even when you don't feel well. 2. Always display kind actions, even if you have been mistreated. 3. Show joyful attitudes even when no one is looking. 4. Have sincere motives with no thought of self-gain. 5. Think pure thoughts. 6. Always give a good report of others. Never tale-bear unless physical harm will come to someone. Use Matthew 18. 7. Never raise a hand to hit. 8. Never raise a foot to kick. 9. Never raise an object to throw. 10. Never raise a voice to yell. 11. Never raise an eye to scowl. 12. Use one toy/activity at a time. 13. Never let the sun go down on your wrath. (Don't go to bed angry or guilty.) 14. Amendment J.O.Y.: Put Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. Make serving your family a priority.